I sat by a corner, looking around and my mind drifted off to thoughts of you, thoughts of me and thoughts of what's happening around us. A string of questions form inside my head, is it just me or is it really true? Do you even know how I feel? How I tried to show you and yet you closed one eye towards it?

I thought I could neglect it, I could run away from it, I could shut myself from reality once I decided to. After all, its my life and I direct my own personal life movie. But running away never really is a solution to anything, is it? I should come to terms with it, should I?

Who am I to you? How much do I mean to you? Do I even mean anything to you?

You entered my life, only to destroy it? I'd rather you not enter at all.

You showed me one side of you, and then yet another side. Who are you? What are you?

I get so confused all the time, and Im sick of being confused.

I have a heart, and you don't recognise it. I have feelings and you don't know it. I can think and reflect and you ignore it.

I am so sick of pretending and giving in and just ignoring the fact that I am being taken for granted. Do you even realise it at all?

What do I want from you? I don't want you bootlicking and giving me honeyed sentences. I don't want you sending me gifts, I don't want you covering my expenses, I don't want you just entertaining me. What difference does it make? How different are you from just a mere sidekick, a mere pushover, a mere bootlicker for me? I don't want you to be someone so insignificant, I want you to just show me your true self, your sincerity and maturity and your heart, dear. Yes your heart. Is your heart ever mine in the first place?

I want to see your smile, your monkey face.

I want to talk to you and just smile at your answers.

I want to be able to hug you.

I don't mind just satisfying what you want.

I grow and learn from you.

Nothing else seems more important than what you say or do.

Thats what I mean by loving someone.

So...

Do you love me the way I love you?