I agree to this statement, " My journey to heaven is accelerated". i think i will start saying this sentence everywhere i go. its exceptionally true and it well describes the situation and the plight i m in right now, having " survived" ytd and today. ( note the inverted commas)

i started telling myself and giving myself ample time to mentally prepare the failures i m about to receive, and sad to say, i think i havent prepared enough, i broke down quite a bit. *sighs* i really dun wanna be grounded. i need some serious retail therapy during the holidays, aside from the hectic lesson schedules. well, its not really holidays for us, there's EXTRA lessons and in addition, strenous CCA timings.

-Yesterday-
it was a freakish monday. we went thru like 6 papers at one go. its way way way freaky. its really a huge mental breakdown for most of us, except those geniuses who seem to score As for every subject like it was the easiest thing on earth. so we went thru english first and i m happy i improved by a grade. got a B3. its quite unexpected, i am not good in english at all. frankly speaking. then, things got even better. I scraped an A2 for chinese, the last subject i expected to excel in. SERIOUSLY. then, things turned for the worst and became really terrible. i got a c6 for ss/geog which i obviously felt disappointed in. i thought my ss would be like fantastic, i memorised like one whole chapter, word for word. memorising sometimes doesnt help. my essays were perfect, its the source based questions that pulled everything down. screw source based questions. in addition to the bad mood i had, i failed biology. got a barely failed mark. D7. a grade that totally ruined my day. i was trying really hard to control my tears, then as i think about how much i studied till i pour out my tears whilst revising and how i have to sit for my diagnostic test and how my mom is going to kill me, i started crying and yirong was comforting me. i dunno how bad i cried, but ppl got really afraid. haha. DID I CRY THAT BADLY?!well, i was very very upset and for a moment, i thought my life was over. THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO COMFORTED ME. I LOVE MY CLASS!!I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
then, we had emaths also. i think. and emaths was ok lah, not as what i have expected. a B4. at least i didnt fail, but i expected an A. i guess i have to work ultra hard nxt yr. ULTRA HARD. then the last paper i got for the day was chemistry, i scraped a B3. well, i think i will get an A in the end, judging by the fact that i got a very high A1 for chem previously.so. (: my mom was really nice too, she didnt scold me or anything. omg. she rocked.

-today-
got back the rest of the papers. and i feel so damn relieved actually. didnt fail anything today. but didnt get any As either. i didnt get an A for amaths, got a B4. but thankfully, i didnt fail. but so what? Amaths was really poorly done by the cohort, that shld serve as a comfort and encouragement for myself. i know its mean, but i cant help it. sorry ppl. AND last, was Literature. i got a 59, which is C5, ANOTHER MARK TO B. i feel like killing myself.

I DESPERATELY NEED BIOLOGY TUITION.omg omg omg omg omg.

thats how i managed to sort of survive. till the report book is out, in the meantime, i survived. when the report book is out, i m dead. OFFICIALLY dead.